well, no celebridino today since none of our many many readers even commented…
so, gather, round boys and girls, it’s time for grampa jared’s “inappropriate lap-top story-time.”
actually, it’s not all that inappropriate — so sorry to get you all hot and bothered. hopefully more hot than bothered.
our massive fanbase keep asking us why we’re doing qardiology.com. i thought i might share our story with you, so that someday you can tell your grandchildren about how the greatest e-card site about gays, jews, and abortions came to be. of course, you could always just read the “about us” page on our site, but you probably only come to our site for the same reason i read my picture bible every night: the hilarious illustrations.
well, when we were sixteen (which was only a couple of years before we were 18, and two after we were 14, five years from eleven and to twenty-one) we made christmas cards for friends and family. our first card featured a christmas greeting and swastika, our second was about saddam hussein being violated in prison, another was about ordering an autistic girl for christmas. there were others. our friends loved them and our parents were too confused to be concerned. from then on we’ve wanted to have a real card company together.
finally, just after new year’s this year, kristin called me up and said something to the effect of “you silly faggot, let’s sell some cards and shit. i like hooking up with fat guys and i use my hand to wipe.” well, we’re both unemployed (we’re both attractive and smart, know someone who’d like to pay us to do work or something like it?) and aren’t likely to raise much start-up capital for this. well, the internet is mostly free — so eqards it is.
it was actually kristin’s idea to include such distinct gay perspective. you’ll notice that the site isn’t exclusively gay — our aim was to be inclusive. lots of sites have ecards with what they call “gay jokes,” but really, those sites only have ecards with jokes about gays.
to illustrate: if we were talkin’ ’bout jews here, a joke about jews might be the popular “what do you call a jewish baker?” joke, or something about being cheap.
but a real jewish joke would go something like this “so i said to the schlump ‘ oy vey! my glumpkins gelt got ferclemped by that goy schmeckl at my bris!’ kosher rabbi yammacha dreidel!”
…or something — i don’t know, i’m not jewish. but you get the idea – a real jewish joke is a joke that’s funny to jews in particular.
also, gays are the most industrious, marketable, wealthy, and lucrative people in the world. we want them on our site along with all you breeders.
so, now you know.
btw, the punchline is “a nazi.”
